Tomorrow morning I am singing one of my favorite worship songs. Well, it's probably number #1 on my list. A few nights ago I was on the worship program to sing something else but, I woke up in the middle of the night with this song playing loudly in my head. Thankfully I have become friends with the worship leader at our sponsor church so I sent him an email at 4:30am in the morning after trying to go back to sleep for an hour, and asked him if the band could switch songs. He said, "Yes." I know this song was in my head for a reason. I know it was for me and tomorrow I look forward to singing it for someone else. When the Holy Spirit wakes me in the middle of the night, it's ALWAYS for someone else. My prayer is that God can use me tomorrow to communicate what worship is all about.

It's all about you Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about you. It's all about you Jesus.

Labels: worship

I've decided to come back to this blog and write for a while. Mama Sings is still up and running but this blog site has always made the REAL ME come out and I feel that God is wanting me to be ME.

Marriage is hard, parenting is hard, relationships are hard, life is hard. I have not wanted to say that in a while because I've been trying to buckle down and roll with life's punches. But I've had a pretty incredible revelation this week and it goes something like this.

2 Corinthians 12
1I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Sunday morning I woke up and felt as if I could not be a part of worship that morning. How could I possibly sing on that stage when I was struggling with so much crap on the inside? I felt empty and felt like I truly had nothing to give and was not sure I could even put a smile on my face. So I told God that I couldn't do it and I experienced one of the most awesome worship sets I have ever been a part of. My weakness, my sin, my struggle allowed God to come in and move because I was totally removed. At one point during one of the worship songs, I opened my eyes and saw hands lifted in the air and I could hear people singing. I was unable to sing the rest of the song. It was a moment I will NEVER forget. Everyone was engaged in worship and truly singing to the Lord. You could feel it, you could see it, you could hear it.

My attitude has not been very nice towards the "church". While some of my beliefs and ideas are true for me with this change taking place in my life, my attitude has not been all that great. I felt an incredible amount of encouragement on Sunday when I looked out and saw that everyone was worshipping in unison. I realized that we are all on the same team. My strength will always fall short, but HIS STRENGTH is perfect.

Labels: worship

Okay, I got lots to do with the kids today but this morning I was trying to get myself in worship mode and this song really takes me there. I was so excited to find this song in youtube WITH the words. Seeing the words helps my spirit soak it up even more. About a year ago, we were going to church with my parents and I sang in the choir for a little while. I remember singing this song and looking out and seeing college kids on their knees, singing this song to the Lord. Just seeing that in my head, reminds that we are all in need of a Savior and while yesterday was a hard day, today is a new day. For the joy of the Lord is truly my strength and HE has MADE ME GLAD!

Labels: worship

There is something so powerful about music. I have written about this before but I feel like writing it again. Music just gets me to that place I need to be. It's so much a part of me that I truly can't get through the day without. Yes, it's my dream to be a worship leader. I don't really do very well with all the fluffy words in between. You know how a lot of worship leaders say all kinds of stuff while they are leading?? I mean I can pray and I can talk but, the fluff in between is what scares me. I don't play a musical instrument. I did take guitar lessons for a few months but someone borrowed my guitar and I never got it back. It was a beautiful, Martin guitar. My parents got it for me when I graduated from High School since I was moving to Nashville to be famous. Oh right! I did not move to Nashville and I did not become famous! :) Anyway, I have really been wanting to start trying to play the guitar again. We shall see. But I have been wondering how I could ever lead worship and not play an instrument and then I think of my friend Tiffany that led without an instrument. She held a microphone, sang and led! I know how to communicate music and as long as I am worshipping, I think I could lead others in the same direction. When it comes to a band, I know how to tell a drummer what I need or a guitar player what I need. So yes, maybe I could do it. Only, there's one other problem. Confidence.

Sure I can sing in front of a million people and be fine but, being the main man, I mean the main gal, that scares me. I've lead worship before by filling in when someone is away and I have led at very small churches but thinking about leading makes my heart flutter. Thinking about this has really made me realize how NOT confident I really am. I think I am, but I am not. Maybe that's good because it would be ALL God doing it through me. You know? There are many reasons why I lack confidence and that's what I have to work through.

For now I am trying to figure out how I can get a few coffee shop gigs or something like that. Today I realized that when I am singing or worshiping, I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Music truly brings everything together for me. At heart, I am an entertainer. Even now, when I am singing to my kids or singing in the car or singing in the middle of my kitchen like I did today, I envision a crowd. Seriously. Today I was in the middle of my kitchen singing at the top of my lungs a Sixpence None The Richer song called, Trust In The Lord and I saw a crowd. It's weird. I don't know why, I just do. And I was still worshipping. I pray that God is preparing me to use my gift again. I pray it is soon. I pray that I get to sing in coffee shops and maybe make a CD. I don't wish to be famous, I wish to be used.

All of that to say that the song I have posted below is a song I would like sing at our church or have a guy sing because I don't know if this song could be arranged for a girl or not. Some may think it's a little much for church, I don't. This song tonight was a song I found myself worshipping to. I'm not sure I could be a worship leader that only sings Christian music. Switchfoot is a crossover band so I wouldn't say they are a secular band but there is a lot of music out there that has a powerful message that could speak to us. But, this is a girl that sang Pat Bentar's, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" during a church service on marriage! :)

This song is called, MEANT TO LIVE. The line that got me was, "We want more than this world’s got to offer". Thanks for reading my rambles and listening to the songs I love! Now click below and listen to MEANT TO LIVE!



Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?

Labels: music, music to my ears, worship

I have ALL of David Crowder's music on my iPod and in the car!

There is a reason why I love this song so much and a reason why I love the video even more. Why? Well, I will tell you in just a minute.

I thought of this song tonight after a long conversation on the phone with a friend. Lately we have had some pretty deep conversations about the Bible, worship, lifestyle and so much more. I really enjoy our talks because it makes me really think about things. She asked me a question about something that has really had me thinking. I am praying that how I answered her made sense. No, I am not going to tell you what the question was. :) Anyway, I thought of this song because I truly want to reflect Jesus in all that I do. I REALLY do. Unfortunately, I don't. I fall short just about every single day and always will. But I pray that how I live my life will be an inspiration to others. I pray that people will know what I stand for and understand who I am. At times I may look like a fool but I truly hope I can be this guy in the video singing at the top of his lungs, in the middle of the city and not give a flip if anyone thinks I am crazy or not. Hopefully, I will at least be on key! But if not, oh well.

If you watch the video you will see what I am talking about. It's funny because I am notorious for walking around the house with my iPod on and singing to the top of my lungs. It's one of my favorite things to do and the kids don't seem to mind it! So I kind of see myself in this video. God is busy, busy in my life right now and I am loving what He is teaching me. The benefits of Him are endless.

Lord Jesus, make me a minister. Father, help me to show you in all that I do.

Isaiah 61

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.[a]
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,[b]
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,[c]
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins,
repairing cities destroyed long ago.
They will revive them,
though they have been deserted for many generations.
5 Foreigners will be your servants.
They will feed your flocks
and plow your fields
and tend your vineyards.
6 You will be called priests of the Lord,
ministers of our God.
You will feed on the treasures of the nations
and boast in their riches.
7 Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice.
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be recognized
and honored among the nations.
Everyone will realize that they are a people
the Lord has blessed.”

10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!
For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation
and draped me in a robe of righteousness.
I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit
or a bride with her jewels.
11 The Sovereign Lord will show his justice to the nations of the world.
Everyone will praise him!
His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring,
with plants springing up everywhere.

Labels: music, worship