There is something so powerful about music. I have written about this before but I feel like writing it again. Music just gets me to that place I need to be. It's so much a part of me that I truly can't get through the day without. Yes, it's my dream to be a worship leader. I don't really do very well with all the fluffy words in between. You know how a lot of worship leaders say all kinds of stuff while they are leading?? I mean I can pray and I can talk but, the fluff in between is what scares me. I don't play a musical instrument. I did take guitar lessons for a few months but someone borrowed my guitar and I never got it back. It was a beautiful, Martin guitar. My parents got it for me when I graduated from High School since I was moving to Nashville to be famous. Oh right! I did not move to Nashville and I did not become famous! :) Anyway, I have really been wanting to start trying to play the guitar again. We shall see. But I have been wondering how I could ever lead worship and not play an instrument and then I think of my friend Tiffany that led without an instrument. She held a microphone, sang and led! I know how to communicate music and as long as I am worshipping, I think I could lead others in the same direction. When it comes to a band, I know how to tell a drummer what I need or a guitar player what I need. So yes, maybe I could do it. Only, there's one other problem. Confidence.

Sure I can sing in front of a million people and be fine but, being the main man, I mean the main gal, that scares me. I've lead worship before by filling in when someone is away and I have led at very small churches but thinking about leading makes my heart flutter. Thinking about this has really made me realize how NOT confident I really am. I think I am, but I am not. Maybe that's good because it would be ALL God doing it through me. You know? There are many reasons why I lack confidence and that's what I have to work through.

For now I am trying to figure out how I can get a few coffee shop gigs or something like that. Today I realized that when I am singing or worshiping, I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Music truly brings everything together for me. At heart, I am an entertainer. Even now, when I am singing to my kids or singing in the car or singing in the middle of my kitchen like I did today, I envision a crowd. Seriously. Today I was in the middle of my kitchen singing at the top of my lungs a Sixpence None The Richer song called, Trust In The Lord and I saw a crowd. It's weird. I don't know why, I just do. And I was still worshipping. I pray that God is preparing me to use my gift again. I pray it is soon. I pray that I get to sing in coffee shops and maybe make a CD. I don't wish to be famous, I wish to be used.

All of that to say that the song I have posted below is a song I would like sing at our church or have a guy sing because I don't know if this song could be arranged for a girl or not. Some may think it's a little much for church, I don't. This song tonight was a song I found myself worshipping to. I'm not sure I could be a worship leader that only sings Christian music. Switchfoot is a crossover band so I wouldn't say they are a secular band but there is a lot of music out there that has a powerful message that could speak to us. But, this is a girl that sang Pat Bentar's, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" during a church service on marriage! :)

This song is called, MEANT TO LIVE. The line that got me was, "We want more than this world’s got to offer". Thanks for reading my rambles and listening to the songs I love! Now click below and listen to MEANT TO LIVE!



Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?

Labels: music, music to my ears, worship