Thursday, May 31, 2007
There is something so powerful about music. I have written about this before but I feel like writing it again. Music just gets me to that place I need to be. It's so much a part of me that I truly can't get through the day without. Yes, it's my dream to be a worship leader. I don't really do very well with all the fluffy words in between. You know how a lot of worship leaders say all kinds of stuff while they are leading?? I mean I can pray and I can talk but, the fluff in between is what scares me. I don't play a musical instrument. I did take guitar lessons for a few months but someone borrowed my guitar and I never got it back. It was a beautiful, Martin guitar. My parents got it for me when I graduated from High School since I was moving to Nashville to be famous. Oh right! I did not move to Nashville and I did not become famous! :) Anyway, I have really been wanting to start trying to play the guitar again. We shall see. But I have been wondering how I could ever lead worship and not play an instrument and then I think of my friend Tiffany that led without an instrument. She held a microphone, sang and led! I know how to communicate music and as long as I am worshipping, I think I could lead others in the same direction. When it comes to a band, I know how to tell a drummer what I need or a guitar player what I need. So yes, maybe I could do it. Only, there's one other problem. Confidence.

Sure I can sing in front of a million people and be fine but, being the main man, I mean the main gal, that scares me. I've lead worship before by filling in when someone is away and I have led at very small churches but thinking about leading makes my heart flutter. Thinking about this has really made me realize how NOT confident I really am. I think I am, but I am not. Maybe that's good because it would be ALL God doing it through me. You know? There are many reasons why I lack confidence and that's what I have to work through.

For now I am trying to figure out how I can get a few coffee shop gigs or something like that. Today I realized that when I am singing or worshiping, I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Music truly brings everything together for me. At heart, I am an entertainer. Even now, when I am singing to my kids or singing in the car or singing in the middle of my kitchen like I did today, I envision a crowd. Seriously. Today I was in the middle of my kitchen singing at the top of my lungs a Sixpence None The Richer song called, Trust In The Lord and I saw a crowd. It's weird. I don't know why, I just do. And I was still worshipping. I pray that God is preparing me to use my gift again. I pray it is soon. I pray that I get to sing in coffee shops and maybe make a CD. I don't wish to be famous, I wish to be used.

All of that to say that the song I have posted below is a song I would like sing at our church or have a guy sing because I don't know if this song could be arranged for a girl or not. Some may think it's a little much for church, I don't. This song tonight was a song I found myself worshipping to. I'm not sure I could be a worship leader that only sings Christian music. Switchfoot is a crossover band so I wouldn't say they are a secular band but there is a lot of music out there that has a powerful message that could speak to us. But, this is a girl that sang Pat Bentar's, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" during a church service on marriage! :)

This song is called, MEANT TO LIVE. The line that got me was, "We want more than this world’s got to offer". Thanks for reading my rambles and listening to the songs I love! Now click below and listen to MEANT TO LIVE!

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?

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  posted at 11:24 PM

At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Kelly Ann said...

I KNOW in my heart that God is preparing to use you again with the AWESOME gift He has given to you! I can't wait to see how it unfolds! Even though I can't "be" there to watch and cheer you on...I will always be in the very front row in my heart and on my knees for you.

I love you!
Kelly Ann

BTW - Alf and I LOVE that song by Switchfoot!!

At 4:13 AM, Blogger Dee @ All the While said...

I totally agree with Kelly Ann! You are getting ready to be a part of something - and I can't wait to hear the story. Your life's testimony from childhood to walking away from your "comfortable" life in the Dallas area based on God's leading... has spoken to so many! I too would love to be there cheering you on - but since there are MANY hours and miles that are between us - you are always on my heart and in my prayers!

AND - Switchfoot is AWESOME - we have all their albums and they have some AWESOME songs!

Love ya!

At 6:55 AM, Blogger Gwen said...

I love that song! Since I started attending the church I am at now there have been a few weeks here and there that a song you would hear on the radio is sung. The first time it happened I was stunned. I sat there and looked at my husband and whispered, "that is not a Christian song!" I was just not used to it. Then before the song was over I realized there was a message in the song. Now..I love it when they do that! It's so refreshing not to be afraid to try new things!
You can do it girl!!!!

At 7:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amanda - I pray that God lines up all that is needed to bring you to a place of using your gift. I know He has amazing things in store for you.

Sometime I will share in depth about my journey as a worship leader. From a background singer in a worship band, to lead guitarist & lead vocals, but most humbling: worship leader - leading the hundreds of people who attend into the Throne of Grace to meet our Lord! It is a powerful, awe-inspiring, humbling calling.

And at the same time, I have never felt more myself, more at home than when I am behind my guitar and a microphone singing to our Lord! And we are making a cd! My songs have been copywritten! We are so similar - I have always dreamed of going to Nashville and trying to make it big. But now I can see my dream is not to be famous - but as you said, to be used. And my dream has come true!!

So, it is possible to have your dreams come true! Pray that God will use you and that the Holy Spirit will sing through you.

As for "Christian music" - whatever. We are so on the same page. There are several country songs that I have sung with my prayer group that have blessed us all profoundly. Forget the labels and sing whatever it is that God puts on your heart!!

Love ya!!!

At 7:50 AM, Blogger Cindy said...

I can't wait to hear you sing again...your voice gives me chillbumps sometimes, it is so incredible! I wish I had learned to play the drums when I was is still something I want to learn to do now, but money and time are big restrictions for that. I'm praying that God is working out some awesome opportunities for you as we speak!

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Christina said...

For those of us who are not blessed to know you in person and don't have the privilage of hearing your voice....any chance of making a youtube video??????

Just a thought. :-)

God can use us in mighty ways, we just have to be willing and it is evident that you are!

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Liz said...

That's a cool song...never heard it before. I love songs that have so much meaning in them.

The Lord has given you a gift and He will use it in some mighty way to bring glory to Him. You are the plyable clay and because of that He, being the Potter, is molding you into what He wants. I believe He gives us gifts and talents for a reason...He will show you what to do with it in His time...and it will be awesome!

P.S. I Agree, I would live to hear your voice someday on youtube or some other internet form, since I don't know you personally. :)

At 7:30 AM, Blogger Amanda said...

Thank you ladies for all of your sweet comments. I am one blessed gal to have all of you in my corner or or my FRONT ROW!

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Munchkin Land said...

I couldn't agree more. Music is more real to me; can bring me closer to God faster than any prayers or scripture reading. I can become totally absorbed in a worship song; just listening to the words transports me somehow.

I wish you the best of luck in singing in coffee shops. =) I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job!


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