Saturday, June 16, 2007
my internal compass
Whenever I am struggling with what to read in the Bible, I go to Psalms. If I had to choose my favorite person in the Bible, it would most definitely be King David. I feel like David is my kindred spirit, someone I can relate to. While David was a powerful warrior, he also endured severe trial and doubting in his life. But David through the Psalms always finds resolve.

If you spend time reading Psalms, you will see that David paints a pretty bad picture. There is trial, turmoil, heartache and even depression. Yet somehow, in the midst of it, David is able to point to the truth. David develops trust and hope in God, no matter what His struggle may be. A trust and a hope that is way beyond external circumstances.

Psalm 32
A Psalm of David. A Contemplation.

1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent, my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah
5 I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

6 For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You
In a time when You may be found;
Surely in a flood of great waters
They shall not come near him.
7 You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.

10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him.
11 Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous;
And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

In the world we live in, it's pretty easy to search for joy in temporary things. I do it. When I am wanting to be fulfilled, I often look for it in people or things. But David shows that we have to be driven to find it in God and in God alone. The joy has to become branded on our inner self, keeping us from looking for it in the external. I've said many times before that buying a pair of shoes will make me happy. Unfortunately, happiness is temporary. Shoes won't fix my internal struggles! Happiness depends on me doing something to get it. But joy depends on me just being.

When David cries out to God in anguish, He realizes by the end of each Psalm that the anguish is where the treasure lies. In the beginning of the passage, you may read something like "Do not be silent Lord. Hear my cry!" And by the end David is saying, "Oh Lord. You have heard my cry and I have found my strength in you." David knows what His internal compass is. God.

Marriage is full of ups and downs and "off roading experiences". Parenting can be challenging and even grueling. Relationships can be difficult, life can be gut wrenching and overcoming the past can be exhausting. But it's going through those things that I find the greatest joy. It's in the pain and the struggle that I learn to be totally dependent on Him. It's in the process that I learn that I must not rely on doing but being. And through it all, that is how I find joy.


  posted at 12:46 PM

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Gina said...

WOW, that was powerful! I have the chills and just LOVE your perspective. Thanks for always keeping it "real".

What great thoughts for me to start my day with!

At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Kaufee said...

WOW that was something beautiful. I am having struggles today but this really helped me. Thanks. Love you.

At 2:50 PM, Blogger Gwen said...

Thank you!

At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what? You get it. You really do get it!!!!!!!!!!

Your blogs always make me think of the Psalmist David. You are real and you become transparent for your readers. I am your mom and I think I know you but only God really knows us, He knows our heart. There are times when I begin reading your blog that I become concerned for you but you always drive it home. That is what the Psalmist David teaches us. David was a King, a Warrior, a Father, a Husband, but more importantly, David was a Psalmist. You have that quality and you have that perspective. You cry out, you confess and you always, always,always, hear from God. The thing is, you already know God hears you but you make it real for me.

I need your kind of reality. I'm one of those who can't "confess" and I tend to be a little "plastic". You make me confess by your writing and you peel off all my plastic. Keep it real. Always pray for wisdom and God will give it to you.

I love you.

At 4:01 PM, Blogger Gina said...

Your mom's comment made me cry! You are very lucky :o)
Love you!

At 7:12 PM, Blogger Karen said...

What an AWESOME post, girl!! Love it!! I am such a do-er. And I completely understand the temporary happiness that is found in purchasing some shoes. I just love how you share you heart so openly!! It encourages me to do so on my own blog. Life is too short to not be real. And I am slowly, but surely learning that. I just love how real you are!!

God Bless~

At 5:30 AM, Blogger ruth said...

Thank you for sharing that! I woke up this morning thinking about you and this was definetly the right way to start my day.

Your moms comment is amazing! You are truely blessed to have her as your mom and she is truely blessed to have you as her daughter!

Love you


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