Tuesday, June 12, 2007
My heart is full
This picture was taken back in March but I had to use it for this story. Notice Josiah is drinking a root beer.
Today I spent the day painting. My Mom called and said, "How are you painting with the kids?" And I answered, "Ezekiel is pretty much a perfect baby and sits in the saucer or the swing or the bumbo, Josiah plays with trains, Ava Beth stays at my feet all day begging to help and then two out of three took a three hour nap! That's how I've been painting!" So my kitchen is painted and it is beautiful. My last kitchen was terracotta so I decided to do a color called Gold Coin. I love it. I think the brightness of it cheered me up this afternoon. Seriously, something about the color helped! I think. Or maybe it was the paint fumes!No, I know what it was. Josiah and I took a break. While Ava Beth and Ezekiel were napping, we went outside to sit under the covered porch. There is a ton of new home construction going on in our area and our home is on the corner so we see all the sheet rock trucks, cement rucks and more. And this makes for great conversation with a four year old boy! When in doubt, talk about trucks! Or root beer! I decided to give him a treat and let him have his very own root beer. Yes, he got the whole can. It took him all day to drink it but just watching him hold that can made me feel all warm and fuzzy because I know he feels like a big boy when he gets his own drink. This time we had root beer from HEB Plus. We got it for free so I decided to not buy the A&W like I usually do. So we are sitting at the table outside and he's looking all big as he sips out of his can. Then he sits the can down on the table and says,
"Mommy, this is HEB root beer. I see the letters. I like it Mommy. It tastes good. I like root beer so much. But when the root beer is hot, it makes me burp. Hot root beer from HEB makes me burp because Daddy gave me one before that wasn't in the fridgerator but in the garage and it made me burp because it was hot. Yep. I don't like hot root beer. I like cold root beer. Thanks for letting me have a root beer mommy."
Seriously. He said ALL of that without stopping. It's funny because I had prayed the night before about my relationship with him. He looks so much like Jeremy and Ava Beth looks so much like me and Ezekiel looks like a mixture that I asked God to show me something in Josiah that he got from me. Something good! And today the Holy Spirit whispered into my ear, "He's a good communicator, like you. He loves to talk, like you. He just wants someone to listen, like you. Have conversations like this with him everyday and you will fill his cup and yours will be filled too."
It's not that Josiah and I don't talk, it's that today I was reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. He's only going to be four for so long and then he will be sixteen and we probably won't be talking about root beer. Hopefully we won't be talking about any kind of beer! :)
So then I decide to tell him about Sonic's root beer floats and how they are free on Thursday nights! He's never had a root beer float and this Thursday night I think my son is going to experience a little taste of Heaven. Since that conversation, he has talked non-stop about a root beer float from Sonic and he's probably having dreams about it right now. Tonight I go to bed with my heart feeling full. I am blessed, so blessed. Thank you Lord, Jesus for all that you have done and given to me.
And now I must go to bed because my daughter, my clone, my little mini me is standing at my leg saying, "Mama, Mama. I'm a pincess (princess)." SHE SHOULD BE IN BED! I've put her in her bed about five times already! She came out to get her Cinderella, so she says! :) I think she just doesn't want to be away from me. Well, that makes my heart full too. I could scream at her right now but if you heard her little voice, you would know why it's so easy to just pick her up and hold her. She is one amazing little girl. Oh and right now she is obsessed with her little pink bible and she is right this very second saying this to me. "Kyee (Kylie) said, "That's my bible, that's my bible! And Miss Eeka (Miss Erika) said kjkjsagfagfjhsgdfjgasdhfgsjh. Mama, this is my ni gow (night gown), not Kyee's ni gow." I have no idea what Erika said! But she must have said something. I am guessing this happened Saturday night while we were on our date and Kylie and Ava Beth have the same night gown and both had them on Saturday night when we got there so that explains the "ni gow" talk! But I have no idea what happened with Kylie's Bible. I will have to ask Eeka!
Labels: my blessings. my gitfs, my kids
9 Comments:
Now this blog is truly an answer to my prayer for you. I really asked God to show you the "perfection" in your life, the unchanging love from your children and how much they adore you. I asked Him to show you what a great Mother you are and have been. Children are NOT that sweet on their own, without you guiding them along the way. Your full time job has paid off.....whether you think so or not......the pictures of beautiful, clean, comfortable, loving, perfect, sweet, and adorable children do not come by chance or maybe's. It comes from a wonderful mother that has her act together, has a mind and heart for God to teach her children in the way they should go. It is a mother and father who love each other....your children see your example and that is why they are sweet. I know things get hard, hard to figure out and empty feelings are so lonely......but God has filled your stocking with 3 of the most wonderful gifts and without them.......how empty would you be then???? To every thing there is a season....a growth....a change....a blessing.....a gift....
I prayed for a bigger cup for you...for God to fill. Remember you aren't used to the big cup yet.....there is still space to fill. When God starts to fill up the new and bigger cup.....you will feel better. These last weeks of feeling lonely and empty are just about over......a new day is upon you and you won't have to wait for "how many moons" to feel better. HE is your rock and your fortress, your healer, your fullness. Rest in Him Mandi and see what He has put before you and how He has blessed you...especially when you feel down or empty. There is nothing too small or too big for Him. This season that you have had is for a reason. It will be so real when you look back. I pray that once it is gone that it never returns. I love you so much and I pray for you each day and this blog was my answer to my prayer.
Your kids are precious. Thanks so much for being so open and sharing your heart with us.
When hard days come just remember that God made you Josiah, Ava Beth and Zeke's mom. Just the right mom for them and just the right children for you. His ways are perfect.
Good job Mommy! You, yes, YOU have raised these sweet and precious children! You have allowed these precious relationships to form between you and "watered" and "fertilized" them with faith, prayers and love! My friend, these days are the days that make mothering so wonderful and we should treasure them (as I can see you are) because they sure do help to make the rough days so much easier!!! God blessed you with these children and he makes NO mistakes!!!!!!! They need you just as you need them! And these moments - they are provided as you need them!
Off subject a minute - I must also say - pics of the kitchen please!!!! :)
love and hugs my friend!
How sweet. Stories like these make my heart swell. I am so glad you get these moments. Especially with Josiah. I assume with three kids it is hard to get alone time with each of them. So it is nice you can have some afternoons with Josiah.
I didn't comment on the last post but I know for certain that there isn't a woman out there who hasn't felt exactly what you shared. It was almost hard for me to read because while I am not there right now, it took me back to that place and I know those feelings are heavy and real and they stink. Still...somehow, that post pointed straight to the Lord and *His* goodness and mercy. Your crying out was a beautiful picture of our need for Him. That post was a magnificient reminder of our daily dependence on Holy God.
This post also reflects *His* goodness (which covers the good & the bad) not only in your life but in the lives of every mother. It is so very hard to see when we are living the "every day". Watching you through this blog as He is pouring His grace on your life is a fascinating thing. Revealing your weakness allows for His Glory to be seen and that is what it's all about!
I would like to share my favorite scripture that I claim when I know I am in that dark place. When I can see that even His hand is holding me there I take such great comfort. Just as Job did NOT credit the devil for his misfortune but rather credited God for *all* that came his way because it brought glory to the Father.....
"Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face."
Job 13:15
Blessings Amanda!
I forgot this part...
I would love for you to post pictures of your painted kitchen. I live in VA but I am from TX and when we first moved here nobody ever painted anything. It was bizarre. I was the only one with the trademark "red" dining room. Anyway, I love to see how other colors look! Do share :)
You are blessed, my friend! You have beautiful children, a loving husband, and you are on an incredible journey. I am so thankful I found your blog such a long time ago!! =)
Priceless photos of your precious children. :) Thank you for sharing. Your post touched my heart; I am so glad how the Lord blessed you! He touches us so greatly through our children, doesn't He?! Love you, Amanda! :)
Lovely post about some wonderful time with Josiah! What a blessing these little ones are, eh??
Peace to you!
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