Friday, March 09, 2007
For the past couple of years Jeremy and I have been feeling like God was preparing us for ministry. I have known since I was fifteen years old that the calling was on my life. I remember walking down the aisle and praying with my youth minister. That day I publicly surrendered to the ministry. God has confirmed that calling over and over and over again. I have known for a while that God has big plans for my husband. But at times I wasn't sure if Jeremy knew. With each church we have been to and served in, I have watched my husband take a back seat and quietly slip away while I sang, did dramas and so much more. For five years he has taken a back seat while I have pursued many things. It's been impossible for Jeremy to find His place because he has been in my shadow.

He has never complained. Instead, he has supported me and encouraged me to use my gifts. But in doing that I feel like he has forgotten the calling on his own life. How can he possibly serve others while he is so busy trying to serve me so I can do my thing? Just recently we have felt a shift coming. We have both felt like change was on the way but we had no idea what. This time we have spent out of church was never spent away from God. While we were not a part of corporate worship, we were a part of something. God has been working in our lives and in our home in amazing ways. We have experienced healing in our marriage, in our families and we have found freedom in Christ like never before.

A close friend from my old church, who was also my worship pastor, told me something one time I will never forget. "Amanda, you have to learn that it is not about you. God can't place you in an area of influence until you get that." Ouch! At the time, I did not get it. I was more concerned with a title, a promotion, being on staff or having my name in the bulletin. It was all about me. I would stand on a stage and sing a song all about Jesus but instead of being concerned with leading people to Jesus, I was more concerned with my fashion. It was all about me.

Another friend told me this. "Amanda, until you LOVE, really love your Mother-in-law, your Father-in-law and your sister-in-law, your ministry will not be anointed." Ouch again! I wanted to blame the dysfunctional relationships on them. I wanted to blame them for all of it. It was all about me!

My youth pastor, who still speaks into my life often, told me that wherever the Lord sent us that it had to be about Jeremy. He said that until Jeremy served, I was not allowed to. When he said that, I thought there was no way I could ever find joy in sitting out. I thought it would be a miserable time and that I just couldn't do it. This May will be TWO YEARS since I have held a microphone and sang. It's been two years since I have done anything. And in that time, God has changed me.

My sister-in-law is my friend. I love her and I need her. I admire her and my relationship with her brings me closer to the Lord. My Mother-in-law was in the room when Ezekiel was born and I wanted her there that day. I needed her there with me and I can't raise my kids without her in my life. God has changed me. Not them but me. God has changed ME.

About three years ago I was sitting in a church service with my husband listening to a sermon on faith. The preacher said something note worthy because I wrote it down. "Until someone says you are crazy. Until someone says you are stupid or insane for doing something the Lord called you to do, you have not walked in faith."Well, we are both feeling like God has called us to do something CRAZY. We don't understand it. We are not sure of the details. We aren't totally sure how soon, although we would like it to be tomorrow! We have never been more unified on this crazy thing. I say it's crazy because it's way more than I ever could have imagined for us. It's something where Jeremy can be used and will be used. In fact, I think it's more about him than me. I think God is about to change my husband in a way that is going to bless his socks off and mine too! We are still praying about it, still making sure we are hearing what we think we are hearing. Our lives would drastically change, everything would change. But we BOTH feel like the time has come. We both feel like we can't go back to how it was. We can't change what God has been doing in our lives over the past two years and we BOTH feel like God has been preparing us for this crazy thing.

When the time is right, when the Lord tells us to GO, I will tell the world about it. Until then, please keep us in your prayers. God is busy, busy, busy in our lives and we are excited to see what He does.

It may seem like a silly analogy but I think we have been pregnant for a while now and the birth is close. As women, we know how difficult and painful and uncomfortable those last few weeks of pregnancy can be. We long for it to be over and we long to see the fruit of our womb placed in our hands to hold, enjoy and love. And that's where we are at. We are ready to give birth and hold, enjoy and love the ministry God has called us to do.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--


  posted at 3:52 PM

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Christina said...

I think the analogy is beautiful!

At 6:19 PM, Anonymous Cindy said...

Brandon and I are both praying for you and Jeremy. Doing something crazy in faith can be one of the biggest blessings you ever have. I like your analogy of birth...that is exactly what it felt like for me!

At 6:44 PM, Blogger annie said...

I also think that is a great analogy and one I have also felt watching Izzy progress ... speaking of Izzy, I have posted a contest on my blog. Hope you will stop by and enter.
Have a great weekend.

At 8:26 PM, Blogger Kelli in the Mirror said...

Can't wait to hear all about it. That's exciting!

At 7:47 AM, Anonymous Tiffany said...


You are SO RIGHT ON TRACK!!! In hearing and reading about this...there's not ONE PART of my Spirit that says, "No."

I pray that you continue to get "flutters" and "kicks" of confirmation! Isn't it interesting how much the physical parallels the spiritual?

I mean, God normally "plants the seed" in women first, but our husbands need to "see the bump" before it becomes reality for them! I think your ongoing and (especially recent) transformation has allowed Jeremy to now experience this "baby/dream" for himself...HOW EXCITING!!! Something that you BOTH can share and anticipate! :)

Love, love, love you!!!
Tiff :)

At 8:43 AM, Blogger Christy said...

Can't wait to hear what God is doing in you guys. Will be praying for you ... Jeremy always tells me you can't minister to someone if you have never been in the same shoes, felt the same pain and joy, delt with the same situations .... sounds like he has been preparing you to birth what he has put into you for two years! How awesome !!! It is so exciting....

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Liz said...

Hi Amanda,
I am new to your blog. I know I don't know you but I wanted to tell you that I loved your post. Your analogy was so beautiful. I loved your heart and your honesty. I pray that God contiunes to give your family wisdom as you seek Him. I am interested to read what God is going to do! New paths are always a little scary and exciting at the same time.
A new friend in Christ,

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

I'm looking forward to hearing more.
Sounds like God is really working in the life of your family. Thanks for sharing the journey.


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