Tuesday, February 13, 2007
needing some prayer
I debated about putting this out there. I usually clam up, quit answering the phone and cut everyone off when I am feeling depressed. But I am trying to fight this with prayer and I would appreciate your prayers. I know your prayers work!

For the past month (since the baby was born) I have had some chest pain. I have worried, exhausted myself in worry. Too much time has been spent on the internet looking for a diagnoses. Searching the internet can make you feel worse than you already do. At least, in my case it has. My fear has been off the charts! I'm sad to admit this but I have even given into the fear and allowed some crazy thoughts to come my way.

Something else I have not wanted to share was this. We are in the midst of a bankruptcy. This morning we met with our attorney and everything is going to be okay but we both feel major defeat. Our house is fine, our cars are fine and we are very happy about that. This chapter 7 bankruptcy is a result of many different things. Starting a business, loosing money on a home, husband injured, etc. We tried to get things consolidated, we tried many things but after MUCH prayer, we felt that this was the best thing to do.

This morning after we met with our attorney, my chest pain felt worse. We went to the ER, where I spent the day having many tests run. I had a nurse scare me with her horrible bedside manner. She told me that I could have a pulmonary embolism and something else that scared me. Well, I don't. In fact, they were not able to figure out WHY I am hurting. My EKG was fine, blood was fine, etc.

We have a newborn, who is doing great and weighing in at almost TEN POUNDS, but I am very tired, obviously a little stressed and I am worrying a lot which is leading me to be depressed. I am sure that postpartum is a part of this but I don't feel like it is postpartum depression and I do KNOW the difference.

I would like to ask you to please stand in the gap for me and pray for healing in my body AND mind.

(I am going to have an upper GI, hopefully this week to check for reflux.)

  posted at 5:54 PM


Location: Austin, Texas

Mommy, Mama, Mandi, Amanda, Babe and whatever else you want to call me! How do I have time to blog with three kids under the age of four? I'm up until midnight and usually later!

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